for the love of others!

when i first heard about God's grace at our new church, my instant feeling was to show my family what they're missing out on. and i kept trying to figure out how to talk to them and show them the light! it saddened me that they believed different then me. i was determined to fix them!

in the past 3 months my feelings toward them and what they believe have changed. for the better! i've realized that they have the same core beliefs. Jesus is the son of God and the only way to God is through Him. i know that they are God's children and I know He's already living in them.

knowing that takes a load off my mind. it gives me a peace and allows me to love them for them. now i see them as a group of God's people that are so deeply loved . i can see areas of their lives where they aren't living in the freedom of that love. i was there. i understand. and all i can do is allow God to love them through me.

this is a great opportunity to talk about loving others. when you try and love others out of your own strength, it gets easily crushed by the smallest things. i'm sure you can think of more then a few times in your own lives. i can. or when you find your worth in another person's love for you.

just know that it's impossible to love anyone in your own strength. even your spouse. you will dissapoint and be greatly dissapointed if you're relying on them to fulfill what you need.

i'm not even saying to love them like God loves them because we can't do that either. i'm talking about God loving them through you.

the way i got to this truth for my own life was when God reveiled to me that everyone is the same. no one better then the other. i realized that my own love for others was flawed. i would easily get stressed when they didn't respond the way i expected.

my view of marriage was completely messed up as well. i use to look to my husband for my happiness. he's known the realization of allowing God to love other's through you and has always loved me that way. which, if you don't understand it, can be very frustrating to be on the receiving end of that love. i had things i thought he had to fulfill to be the best husband. and he didn't see it that way so i have lived some pretty miserable married years because of my own expectations.

ever since having a son (and the revelation of God's love) it's made me realize that men have the same needs we do. why should they cater to our every need just because they are male? i know what the bible says about the husband's roles. never in the bible did i read where the husband has to know what you're thinking all the time. never did i read where he has to bring you something home every week to show you his love. how sad is it, as women, we are programmed (through wordly things) to instantly base a man's love for us on whether or not he brings you a box of chocolate of valentine's day? as i did, you will live a miserable life if you base your happiness on how others love you. you will also be miserable if you try and love others on your own when they are only human and will let you down.

i now see my husband as an equal. i am not better then him because i'm a woman. i no longer look to him to make me happy. i no longer base my love for him out of my need for love. i simply do nothing and let God love him through me. and it is WONDERFUL!

we (now both) live in the freedom of His love for one another. there are no expectations. so when one person does do something unexpected, it's just an added blessing.

it makes me feel better as a person too. i no longer feel like a bad wife because i expected more out of him then he expected out of me. i no longer feel like a bad friend because i can't do everything for everyone to make them happy. i no longer feel like a bad christian if i don't do a. b. & c. for God. it has transformed my life. i am truly happy because i am not basing my happiness on love from other people. i am secure in God's love and the truth that He loves me just the way i am. and that's all i need. love from others here on earth is just an added bonus.

and something else i just remembered from re-reading what i just wrote... i no longer feel the need to be anything other then myself. example: i opened a flower shop when i was 22 because that is what i thought i really wanted. when i had to close the shop only after 7mo. i felt like a failure and thought i had to prove that i wasn't. so i've kept it afloat since, out of my home. just until recently have i realized it isn't what i really wanted. it was just a pedestal i was putting myself on to make me feel like i accomplished something. because to say i have a business at my age was impressive. now i feel completely freed and blessed to just be me. i feel freed that i don't have to try and make something work that my heart is not in. and i feel blessed that i don't have to work and i can just be content being me. a person loved by God with the extra blessings of being a wife, mother, and friend.

i know i just covered a lot of areas. 3 of which i will explain at another time. my mind is overflowing with many different things i want to share here. bare with me as i find my writing style here. and thank you for your kind words!